PACE Schools Blog Series: Part Five
Every teacher has seen it—a child overwhelmed by frustration, anger, or sadness, unable to calm themselves down. In those moments, it can be hard to know what to say or do. Do you step back and give space? Step in with firm direction?
The truth is, what pupils often need most is not correction, but connection. That’s where empathy in the classroom becomes transformative.
In Dan Hughes’ PACE approach, Empathy is the steady, compassionate response that tells a child: Your feelings make sense, and you don’t have to carry them alone.
Rather than rushing to fix behaviour, empathy pauses to acknowledge emotion:
“That looks really tough for you.”
“I can see how upset you are right now.”
“It must feel hard when that happens.”
By reflecting and validating feelings, we help children feel seen and understood. This lays the groundwork for emotional regulation and strengthens the bond between teacher and pupil.
Empathy in the classroom does more than “soften” behaviour management—it helps pupils build the skills to manage their own emotions. Here’s how:
🛡️ Creates emotional safety — Pupils learn they won’t be shamed for their feelings.
🧠 Supports co-regulation — A calm, empathetic adult helps a child’s nervous system settle.
🌱 Builds resilience — Over time, pupils internalise empathy and develop self-soothing strategies.
🤝 Strengthens trust — Empathy reassures children that adults will respond with care, not criticism.
For children with trauma or unmet attachment needs, this kind of steady attunement is especially powerful—it gives them an experience of safety they may not have known before.
Showing empathy doesn’t mean excusing behaviour or lowering expectations. It means acknowledging feelings alongside setting boundaries. Some strategies include:
Name and validate the feeling — “I can see this is making you angry.”
Match tone, not intensity — Stay calm but show warmth and understanding.
Use empathy before problem-solving — Connection first, correction later.
Stay present — Sometimes just sitting nearby with quiet reassurance is enough.
By modelling empathy, teachers also give pupils a template for how to respond to others with compassion.
When pupils experience empathy in the classroom, they learn that their feelings are valid and manageable. This builds confidence, self-awareness, and the ability to regulate emotions—skills that extend far beyond school walls.
For educators, empathy transforms challenging behaviour from a battle to be won into an opportunity for healing connection.
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