As a children’s and families social worker, you work with birth parents who are under intense pressure — yet that pressure doesn’t always translate into safe or effective parenting.
Some have already had their children taken into care. Others are on the edge of proceedings, trying to do the right thing but struggling to know how.
You want to give them every opportunity to succeed — but they need more than support. They need tools to help them respond to their child’s needs, not just react to their behaviour.
That’s where PACE for birth parents comes in.
When children have experienced neglect, abuse, or separation, they often show their distress through mistrust, withdrawal, or challenging behaviour.
And when a parent is already dysregulated, exhausted, or overwhelmed by their own trauma or shame, that behaviour can easily escalate conflict — not connection.
This is where parenting often begins to break down.
The PACE model for birth parents helps interrupt this cycle by offering a practical, trauma-informed framework to build emotional safety and strengthen trust — the foundations of a healthy parent-child relationship.
Originally developed by psychologist Dr Dan Hughes, the PACE approach supports children with attachment difficulties and trauma histories. It helps parents create emotional safety by responding with:
Playfulness – using warmth and connection to strengthen the relationship
Acceptance – acknowledging a child’s feelings without condoning harmful behaviour
Curiosity – helping parents ask, “What’s behind this behaviour?”
Empathy – offering calm, attuned responses that reduce shame and fear
PACE isn’t permissive. It’s structured and intentional — a powerful alternative to reactive, punitive parenting that often repeats cycles of harm.
While each family’s needs are different, this model can offer a turning point — even when things feel stuck. For example:
Scenario 1: A mother with children in care might start to understand that her child’s aggression in contact sessions is a response to fear and confusion. Using PACE, she could learn to stay calm and offer reassurance, helping her child feel safer in her presence.
Scenario 2: A father with a history of reactive parenting might begin to recognise how his own emotional state affects his child. By learning to stay curious rather than confrontational, he could begin to repair ruptures and reduce conflict during supervised contact.
In both cases, PACE gives parents practical alternatives to criticism, control, or shutdown — and helps create the relational safety children need to feel seen, heard, and valued.
At Social Care Training Solutions, we offer PACE for birth parents as a live Zoom training, accessible from home or a quiet space at a contact centre. It’s:
Straightforward – clear, jargon-free, and rooted in everyday parenting
Supportive – delivered with compassion but realistic about the challenges
Trauma-informed – especially helpful for parents who are themselves coping with trauma or dysregulation
This training can support:
Birth parents in pre-proceedings or reunification
Parents with supervised contact looking to strengthen connection
Families repeating familiar patterns of conflict and shutdown
For some birth parents, this kind of training could offer a tangible, accessible next step — particularly when other services have already been tried with limited impact.
If you’re supporting a parent who wants to do better — but doesn’t yet know how — PACE for birth parents can offer the clarity and structure they need.
It won’t solve everything overnight. But it may help a struggling parent take the next step — and begin to build the safe, connected relationship their child needs to thrive.
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P.S. If you’re unsure whether this is right for you, drop Tori a message. We’re happy to chat about what’s going on and how PACE could help.
Generic training can leave staff feeling unprepared for the real-life scenarios they face. Our tailored approach ensures the content, delivery method, and case studies are directly relevant to your sector (e.g., education, healthcare, sport, charity, corporate), your local policies, and the specific vulnerabilities and risks present in your community.
We design engaging, practical, and compliant training across three core areas:
Invest in training that transforms knowledge into action. Equip your team with the confidence and competence to protect those in your care proactively.
